Episode 9: Digital Identity: Showing Up Online

So… let’s talk about showing up online. Because apparently, in 2026, you can’t just exist. You have to exist… strategically — and apparently for the entire internet to witness.

Which is hilarious to me, because I grew up in a time when being invisible was the default setting. Once you left the house for school in the morning or went out with friends in the afternoon, your parents had absolutely no way of knowing where you were or what you were doing, and who with. No phones, no trackers, no “share location.”

Well, actually, that's not completely true — technically — the older ladies stationed on the top floor balconies could track you. They were the original GPS: Gossip Positioning System. They’d clock your movements, cross reference them with your friends, and deliver a full report to your parents before you even made it home. But aside from that? Total freedom.

If you wanted to take a photo, you needed a camera, film, and a dark room — not a filter, an actual room where light was illegal. Half the pictures came back with someone’s thumb over the lens, and we still put them in albums like they were priceless artefacts.

So all this internet hurrah is actually brand new — and we’re all still learning how to live with it. We went from “no one knows where I am unless Mrs. Nowak saw me from the balcony” to “my phone knows my heart rate, my location, and what I’m craving for dinner.” It’s a massive cultural jump, and honestly, no one got a manual.

So it really is a lot of trial and error — but even the newest digital habits can be learned with the same old instincts we grew up with.

I’ve realised that being visible on the internet is basically like walking into a British pub: you want to be seen, but not stared at; heard, but not heckled; and ideally, you’d like the lighting to be doing something flattering, which it never is.

And yet — here we are. Posting. Filming. Editing. Trying to look natural while holding a phone at an angle that would make a chiropractor weep.

But underneath all the filters and the presets and the “just be authentic” pep talks… there’s this quiet question humming in the background:

How do I show up without giving myself away?

Because these days, visibility is currency. But so is privacy. And the exchange rate fluctuates wildly.

I’ve spent years learning how to protect my digital likeness — the overlays, the EQ, the angles, the softening, the sharpening, the “no, that shadow is not my portion today.” And honestly? It’s not about being vain. It’s self defence.

The internet is a buffet, and I refuse to be the free sample.

But here’s the twist: the more I protect myself, the more I realise that the real vulnerability isn’t in my face or my voice. It’s in my story. My energy. My presence.

And that’s the part people actually connect with.

Not the perfect lighting. Not the flawless skin. Not the “I woke up like this” lie we all tell with a straight face. People connect with the moment you say, “I’m trying. I’m learning. I’m figuring out how to be a person in public without losing the private parts that keep me sane.”

So here’s what I’ve landed on — and you can borrow this if you like:

Show the truth, not the whole truth. An edited honesty. A boundary with personality.

I’ll give you the vibe, the humour, the story, the lesson… but you don’t get my raw edges unless I decide they’re safe to share.

And that’s the magic zone. That’s where digital identity becomes a craft, not a performance. Because when you show up with intention — not overexposure, not hiding, just… intention — you start to feel at home in your own online skin.

And suddenly, visibility isn’t something that happens to you. It’s something you choose.

So if you’re listening to this and you’ve been wrestling with the whole “Do I post? Do I hide? Do I need a ring light? Do I need therapy?” Just know: you’re not alone.

We’re all trying to be human on the internet. That’s already impressive.

[Soft outro — maybe a kettle boiling, because of course.]

Thanks for listening. Go protect your peace, polish your pixels, and show up in a way that feels like you. Not the algorithm’s idea of you. Your idea of you.